Prequel to OUR Referral

Prequel to Our Referral~ A few weeks before we laid eyes on our son, I had a dear friend come up to me and say she was praying for our family.  While she was praying she said she SAW him.  She continued to share about the light in his eyes.  She couldn't quite describe it. I told her, "Oh yeah Ethiopian children are known for light in their eyes.  Their eyes have been called reflectors of light." She looked at me in a way that I KNEW to hold on to every word she spoke. She then said,"No that's not what I mean." The best way she could describe to me is that she saw a light coming from his eye, it reminded her of a flashlight beaming out light from his eye.  Because I love this friend and trust God in her, I knew to tuck that Word in my heart. 
     So when we opened our "referral" November 14th and after we dried our eyes to read his medical report, we saw that he had a condition with his right eye.  On one report it was called corneal opacity. When we googled the condition it said it could lead to blindness. We knew because of WHAT my friend had seen about his eye that was our confirmation that he was ours. His "condition" didn't deter our hearts from loving him, from desiring to bring him into our family. The next day I looked at the medical report again, and on the bottom it said refer to an opthamoligist/surgeon.  So I found that report in our referral packet...The condition was actually something to do with his Iris and wouldn't affect vision at all. And when you look at his sweet right eye he is missing part of the color and in it's place is light. In one of the medical definitions it describes the condition as, A light shining thru. PRAISE! His Ethiopian name is Sinthayhu, Meaning...What my eyes have seen, and what I have been through.
     OK~ as if that Godly word wasn't enough...Are you ready??? You might want to pop some popcorn and sit in AWE of God's design in this adoption journey! The week before our referral I saw a post from our agency saying they had a healthy 1 yr old boy who needed a forever family.  In my spirit I KNEW he was ours!  I actually responded right away, with something like, Do you hear me screaming?" I couldn't believe it because we put in for a 1-5 yr old boy.  I had a quick thought of why is she trying to give our son away.  She, our Ethiopian coordinator responded so kindly back saying I thought of your family first but I knew you wouldn't be ready to send the referral money, because we had just raised the Dossier amount.  She was very accurate in her thinking.  In that moment I text alot of our friends to PRAY.  I said there would need to be a miracle so this boy wouldn't be referred out.  It wasn't like, Oh well if it's meant to be...NO! I knew that was our son!  We needed a miracle.  I even asked God to make him undesirable for that family...I know, awful. I'm only speaking raw truth from the very core of me.  This isn't written to please man.  I hope me being completely honest will only encourage those of you who are or will be in a similar situation...So the morning of our referral...Our coordinator calls and says,"How soon do you think you could get your referral money in? I told her I wasn't sure because we had just come up with the close to 7000.00 amount for our dossier.  However...I said I don't want to miss "our son"..In my head I'm thinking, we are SO doing a cash advance and were going to accept this referral.  I could have even vocalized this in the phone conversation...One thing I knew for sure is my amazing husband has said throughout this whole process is he didn't want to charge. We didn't envision our little boy wearing a t-shirt that said, "My parents went in forclosure for me" OR "My parents loved me so much, their bankrupted." My husbands decision to not charge was that he wanted God to get the glory, not Discover or American Express.  So knowing this I was afraid to ask my husband, but I knew our agency needed to know asap.  After hanging up the phone I went to prayer.  I remember being literally on my knees, with my face buried in the carpet...seeking God.  Only in this moment throughout this process I remember praying YOUR WILL GOD. FORGIVE ME IF I'M RUNNING AHEAD. IF HE ISN'T OUR SON, THEN PLEASE CLOSE THE DOOR..so when my husband came home for lunch I quickly caught him up to speed and told him the ONLY way we can accept this referral is to just do a cash advance and pay it off  later...PAUSE...to this miracle in the making.  The Ranell in her flesh...is saying right now, WHY are you sharing all the intimate details of something so personal...I'm sure everyone has 35,000 dollars in their savings to adopt...Hit backspace, and NO one will know...PLAY....I really want you to SEE HIS GLORY.  I wonder if this is how King David felt as he danced naked before the Lord.  So here it is....Okay so guess what my husband says to my 2 hour prayer request prior to him coming home for lunch? "Let's go for it!" I couldn't have been more elated with his response. 
     We knew the money would be due asap, usually within 48 hrs of acceptance, she said the following Monday on the 19th would be fine.  So that night we opened our referral and accepted...which you know if you read the prior..After we accept is when God gets even more fancy in HIS creation of this adoption journey.  We go  to our bank on the morning of the 19th to do the cash advance.  Mind you we have never done this before so we really thought we just go on in...We step up to the teller and let her know our wishes.  With her wand in hand she's going through everything and getting ready to wire, she grabs the card we are planning on using and informs us that this bank isn't set up to do American Express.  UGH....No wish granted...Her wand was only a pen, but she tells us the banks that use AE.  As we head back to our car I told David, you know this feels like a door shut.  Not shut to our son, but to doing a cash advance.  I continued to share with David that God wanted to honor his desire to not charge, and to get all the Glory!  As we part ways...my husband continues to hit up the banks that were set up for AE, he even calls American Express and they tell him they can put a direct advance into our checking, but that it takes two business days. This is all happening while I am out getting groceries in complete peace...THOSE of you who know us, KNOW it would be me knocking on every door to complete this transaction not the one who didn't want to"charge"..OK so now it's the 21st and were still trying to get the money...Your probably wondering where is American Express' magic carpet ride with the direct advance...Well in those few days, they changed policy and only offer a cash advance of 500.00 every seven days.  Door remains SHUT.  Instant heartburn sets in, I let our agency know this and her Milantic response was, "No worries tomorrow is Thanksgiving and I won't be in the office till Monday."  So were thinking PTL more time to figure this out..And there it is, a sliver of doubt..Not doubting our referral is our son, but will God provide? I hate confessing this...I KNOW God at His word, but there it was, a lack in my faith. Looking back I am so thankful the sliver didn't fester.
      It's now Sunday night, November 25th the eve before money is due, and my husband says to me, "I don't know how were going to be able to send the money, at this point we just don't have all of it. I'm not sure where it's going to come from." We had a stare that only we could read and understand, and in that moment we truly knew it could only be from God...That ONLY God would provide. After we prayed, we were resolved and at absolute peace. Praise God my mind was numb from the knowledge that if HE didn't provide by the next morning more than likely we wouldn't be moving forward with this child whom we have fallen madly in love with...This is that moment where you believe it for everyone else, because you've seen it happen for others. 15 minutes later my husband receives a message from a couple asking us what we needed next in the process of our adoption! Intermission~ To His Story..Possibly for the effect of suspense...but the reality is I have a little one home sick and need to hold the bucket under her dear face.