GOODBYE...Whoever gave the name goodbye...how was leaving our son good?

JUNE 14th~ Departing Ethiopia....I woke up feeling a joy to return home to see our children, however not able to process leaving our other child...We had a beautiful breakfast and were able to spend some good time with the Guest House Staff.  We felt compelled to bless each one with a gift...It seemed small in comparison to what they have done for our family, but they were so touched. How do you say thank you to the many people who have cared for our son for the last 7months? We were driven to see Sintayehu for one more visit before we needed to head to pack for home. It was odd the somber feelings for what we knew would occur in two hours.  We truly squeezed each minute we had with him.  After we played for a bit, we had a special moment with his blanket that was made for him.  The blanket was all BOY and made out of fleece, our friend made it to where the middle was to be cut, and half would be left with him, and the other half would come home with us...Then when were all reunited as Family we will tie the blanket whole again.  Just a beautiful Gift!  After that Beckham fell asleep on Mama, and after I felt like I had hogged him enough, I passed him over to David....We just stared...Marveled at the gift God had blessed us with...Before I was ready, the nanny came in to take Sintayehu...It was there In that MOMENT I have never felt nor do I wish to feel again....

                                                        Last few minutes with Beckham
     I remember feeling like I wasn't even there, like I was watching and wanting to control what was happening, and yet could not....How do I leave? A noise came out of me that I didn't know was mine...All these thoughts of, "who could watch my kiddos at home?' "How much would it cost to adjust my ticket and just STAY..."Trying to express to David thru the tears that I shouldn't leave...In that unbearable moment it was my other children that got me on that plane HOME..
     OK~ SO hear is some CRAZY COOL ways of GOD! Before I can get to them, I need to share my experience I was having there in Addis Ababa. First of all the very first glimpse took my breath away.  This land held my son.  This country held his mother...His mother...Overwhelmed with what we were about to experience in this week!  This was my first time to be in a third world country.  I had somewhere in my mind glamorized this trip, due to the fact it was all about our boy, this beautiful adoption journey~ I never prepared for what I saw...How can you? How do you prepare for Poverty, crippled, blind...Blind everywhere, beggars every few feet...Women handing you their children, begging for food or money...Children begging for the belly to be full a little longer...You see, their not asking for ANYTHING but for us to give them drink, and food...to survive. I cried daily, and a few times wanted to take back that prayer I uttered a few years ago, "Break my heart, for what Breaks yours." Oh how many times I wanted God to lift this feeling from me. IT was such a time of reflection...How is it babies die from a simple cold, or a 7year old boy from Thypoid Fever? We just were vaccinated for this before travel...WHY don't they do this here!!!Nobody should have to put a child in the ground!  WHY do we have warehouses full of FOOD, Emergency Food buckets IN CASE of an emergency when people are dying of STARVATION...Isn't that an emergency?! I'm screaming these thoughts in my mind all DAY long, restless nights of WHY'S... Well I was going to change this...Even if it was just ONE life everyday we were there...Well by the third day we were there we had given all our money away...By this time, our driver looked at me and said, "You can't fix this." TODAY I still ponder those words...

    SO back to the day we said goodbye to our son, and headed to airport...If I had known I wasn't returning on the second trip I would have done and seen so much more, but I was truly handicapped in that beautiful culture...As we said goodbye to our driver Eshetu, He told David.."Goodbye my brother, my pastor friend. I will PRAY you back for this next trip." David embraced him and said,"You will need to pray hard, I have work and it just works for Ranell and our daughter."
     OK~ as we get on the plane..."David I can not do this again! I don't think I can come back here and do this..."He replied,"YOU have to do this. We don't have a choice. I can't afford the time off of work again. I just cried and said I was not made to see what we had witnessed, it was just to much...Then something in me said I WILL PRAY...A MIRACLE for you to be able to come back.Not sure if emotional draining played a part in the next words that spilled out of me quicker than I could process.  He kinda laughed, and told me I would be okay, and now that I have seen I would know what to expect.  And that Beckham would get me on that plane.  Of course he was right!
WELL, that was on Thursday, we get home late Friday to some pretty excited kiddos :-) Enjoy our time with them thru the Jet lag and something Funky we picked up in Nairobi, Kenya...Yikes..This is what blows my mind away.  David goes into work on Monday.  Apparently our niece Cari had done David's work while he was gone.  So the work was done and he didn't need to get caught up..However David knew that meant he not only missed a weeks worth of work, but now wouldn't get paid for the catch up.  He's works for a small business so it doesn't allow for paid vacation, sick days,etc. Well remember the miracle I told David I was praying...His boss told him he had his daughter cover and that he still wanted to Pay David for that week, for work he had not done, and if he needed to fly out for the second trip he would do the same thing for him! Only God.
     Well now...Guess who changed her tune in going? That's right...I now am dreaming of the day to fly back out to get to Beckham, must be like having a baby...You forget the pain right after, and would do it all over again..That's where I was...Wanting to do it all over again..Convinced this time, I would be braver, Less tears...ready to change the world, and while I am doing that I would be bringing our son home with my oldest daughter. Needless to say...it's still a coin toss at this point...David is laughing at me,telling me God heard my prayer and answered it..He was going back.  I let him think that......

First Trip~COURT DAY!!!

June 11, 2013

     Not much sleep this way, during the night we were interceding on behalf of Patty and Paul.  Our new friends that are adopting two boys.  They were in a tough spot, a place of doubt had found space to rent in their minds.  A spirit of confusion had robbed their joy after their 1st meeting with their boys.  David  and I were sent an email from Patty in the night asking for prayer!  We began praying and realized quickly this doubt was NOT the plan of Gods, but was the enemy trying to halt this adoption.  I remember laying there, wide awake heart sick for our new dear friends...David prayed a beautiful prayer and began calling out all the wonderful characteristics God had designed in these boys and then prayed against the spirit of deception and confusion!  We knew this was a matter of eternity.  So as we prayed into the early morning hours we decided to lay there awake in the dark of Addis Ababa and Delight in the reality that in just a few shorts hours Sintayehu would become a Bond.  Legally ours <3
     We joined the others hoping our appearance was much better than how we were feeling.  We were thrilled that Patty and Paul had a great night of sleep and woke up with Peace!  Praise the Lord!!! Of course God...God delivered, HE never ceases to amaze me!  HE is WHO HE says HE is! THE GREAT I AM! He brought HIS peace beyond understanding...and we see it all over our friends AND they too will head to court with us and witness their boys become their sons "officially".  After a beautiful breakfast and a gross amount of much needed coffee we were ready to go for our morning visit.  We couldn't get to him quick enough! To cup his little face in my hands and stare deep into his glorious eyes!  His eyes that tell his story...To hear his precious language that I don't understand but causes me to beam..I can't believe were HERE! In the flesh we are finally here holding our boy, holding all those prayers, holding all the "paperwork", Holding our Wait. Our dreams are unfolding.  The morning visit was SO great!  He is so yummy, full of tenderness.  He is very content to just sit with us.  We brought little markers for him to color, and boy does he like them.  He is inking up his clothes and little body with much delight.  I am now proud mother of new ink all over my forearm :-)We also brought back the mini soccer ball for him.  It's his favorite, and he is very content just hugging it ever so tight into him, while still white knuckling his markers.  It was during this visit(3rd one) that we kept calling him all the names we have considered this far. We really believed his name would be Ty. Shortened from his Ethiopian name, or even Tyson...We had talked about Beckham last fall, but thought too much..too much propaganda to the name...hmm. He paid no attention to names we were trying out, UNTIL we said Beckham.  Immediately he repeated the name, "Beck-Hem" he said with a smile.  We were floored! It was in that moment we knew Sintayehu had just chosen his name.  We have decided on Beckham Luke Sintayehu Bond. Here is the meaning of his full name(Homestead, bringer of light,what my eyes have seen and where I have been.) We left that visit knowing when we returned for the afternoon, One that he wouldn't just be our son in our hearts, but legally he would be a BOND, and Fatherless NO MORE~My heart...is Exploding beyond a 4th of July night!
     1 pm~ In court in Addias Ababa

To much time needed to share the next story, so I will spare you..However I will say there was about 50 people in the court and on the wall it says SILENCE...Well us Americans, along with our driver got the giggles over a mispronunciation of mine, and the fact I was calling our lawyers assistant by our Lawyers name! I truly was confused and thought the assistant was Mr. Alemu..So when our driver Eshetu says that is Mr. Encharda(sp) It sounded like he said Mr. Enchilada...They let me continue calling this poor man Mr. Enchilada until they could Laugh No More! The laughter was much needed for the nerves!  The judge called us in and it was in those moments behind closed doors we answered all the questions of why we believed we could parent Sintayehu, and got to tell her our heart for adoption and how much we had already bonded with him...- A few questions from the Judge~
Have you spent time with Sintayehu?
 How was your time with him?
 How long has your adoption process been?
 Do you live in a diverse area?(We smiled as we live in North Idaho)It will become diverse Lord willing!
 Have you learned about the Ethiopian culture?
 Do you know other families that have adopted from Ethiopia?
 Do you understand that after I sign this paper, Sintayehu Tirit will be yours under Ethiopian law and there is NO turning back for any reason?
 ...Sweetest words. I believe instead of saying yes to all the questions, my response was Glory...We thanked her very much as the tears spilled down our faces!

After court we headed back to visit our son! I scooped him up only to intercede him reaching out to his daddy, (whom he calls Abba, My Abba to be exact) and announced to him you are a Bond!

                                This was taken right after court!!!  Beckham with Mama



I'm sure he knew...no papers were needed for him to know that...After we went back to the Guest House and celebrated with bottled Pepsi..The best soda I have ever had!

                                 Pictured from left is Paul, Patty, Eshetu, me and my sweetie

 

 

 

 

                                                            

                                                       Coffee Ceremony Celebration

 

 

 

 

                   Here we are celebrating with the beautiful staff at the Guest House...Family

 

READY for TRAVEL 1st Trip

My heart was to get these Adoptive milestones blogged on the day the events actually occurred..Instead they were written in my beloved journal penned with great emotion! Now many weeks later at midnight I find myself with time to transfer these moments...Beautiful moments that were prayerfully lifted to the heart of God. When they were in the wait...and now by HIS hand answered prayers unfolding.

• November 14th Referral
• March 21 MOWA letter
• May 14th Birth Mom court date(Missing orphanage document) Cancelled
• May 26th New Birth Mom court date. Went Great!
• June 11th Court date

June 4, 2013~
     6:30 am the phone rings from our adoption agency delivering the news that we have the court date we've been waiting for!  We have to be in the country by Sunday June 9th, which meant we must fly out by Friday the 7th.  I'm beyond giddy!  Not remembering any other words our agent had spoken.  I quickly run up the stairs to deliver the news to my sleeping husband.  "It's time David!" Randi just called court is the 11th, and we need to be on a plane Friday!!! Then I continued to run down the hall and share the much awaited news with our children.
     Awe...Our children, they've been a part of this adoption journey from the beginning.  Our youngest daughter Mia started praying for this boy before we even knew who it would be.  She would set out an extra plate for him at meals, and not a prayer that was offered was he not mentioned by that precious voice.  Off the lips of a child who has great faith!  Our other daughter Lexie, my first born, my girl that is full of quiet strength, and great wisdom beyond her young years, was full of questions...Some that I couldn't answer...Even when the wait became so long and faith seemed to waiver our Lexie wasn't shaken.  Only for Justice.  So it was fitting I share with our first born about this wonderful news before the other children..And not hard to do given the time of morning.  Hair and makeup are very important to a junior higher. We crossed paths in the hallway after delivering the news about,we embraced with tears of reality.
     Oh my boy by the Bay~ Our son, who knew this adoption would cost his prize position of being the only son.  Our giver...He gave gladly, when he knew it would allow an orphan to have a forever family.  This little brother will be sharing a room with Dock, who again gladly gave...Gave his space so that he could be the big brother example.  Our Dock gave up for a year modern day pleasures.  He would say NO to the extras, the little splurges..A soft drink wouldn't be had if it meant the two dollars it cost would go towards bringing an Orphan Home.  He sold his most expensive belongings wanting it all to go towards the adoption.  I know it touched our hearts, but I believe it opened the windows of heaven to shower down blessings and favor in the eyes of God.
     June 4th, still the morning of the call.  I really wasn't functioning right...Call it Paralysis by Analysis..Not sure if I even made the kids lunches to take to school.  I was full of excitement, and a little anxious of all that needed to happen before we left..so that morning Mia had a talent show.  She was performing to Cups.  She nailed it! Nothing delights me more than being able to watch my children doing what they love. I went home to get going on all the "new" paperwork to get notarized...Shop for gifts for the kids teachers as it was the last week of school,and  to begin packing!
     June 5th, More forms to get notarized, lots of laundry, Lists to write for my mama who would be staying with our children. And a house to clean like I was having a Showing...One thing I do not like about me:-) Officially five more days to see our son, and 2days left to accomplish the everyday, plus some.
     June 6th, Dock and Lexie have their big day at Silverwood Theme Park, while Mia is enjoying her Fun Day at her school.  A great day to get groceries.  My mama and I went to go get the Ethiopian staff at the Guest House and at the Foster Home gifts.  I can't believe we will be on our way tomorrow!!! SOOOOO many emotions.  My sis and niece show up to bless us with bags of treats for travel and the Hoffman family brought us over dinner. So many wonderful people who have invested time, resources, and prayer for this to even happen....Love in action
     June 7th, I can't believe it!!!After 17 months of our adoptive journey, TODAY is the day we begin our travel to Sintayehu.  My dad drove us to the airport, said a nice prayer for travel mercies..Then we said goodbye to our junior highers who ditched the last day to squeak out an extra hour with us.  The painful goodbye surprised me..Very unexpected knowing we would be home in one week.  We haven't left our kiddos for ten years maybe that was it;-) Grandmama will keep them very busy and I am thankful it's the first week of Summer for them to play. Still...I wish they were on this part of the journey with us.
Our trip to get to Ethiopia took 30 hours for this non-international girl it felt like forever...Possibly because that nation, our Final destination has the newest member of our family.
     June 9th, We arrive at 2:00 am...Once we get our visa, we look for our driver..We quickly find the sign he is holding that reads BOND.  David and I were not prepared for what our eyes were about to take in.  We witnessed a 3rd world country for the very first time.  In my GLAMMED up thinking I never let this reality take form...Mind you it's dark and what we've seen already...Thanking the Lord for the dark of night, to let the process begin...The process where all comfort has to leave, to Look but not look away...We arrive at the Gated guest house lined with barbwire, it is there we are taken to our room and greeted by another American family..Paul and Patty..They quickly fill us in.  They are from Arizona and are anxious to meet their two adoptive sons. After a quick introduction we head to bed.  I'm tired and yet SO excited, hope to get a few hours of sleep before we meet our boy!!! EEEKKK...This is IT..After 7 months of updates of Sinthayhu Tirit, we get to embrace this child, physically cup his little face into my hands...Hold him...Tell him about his siblings, Tell him about HIM...A mighty, loving, Faithful God who cares about him so much that he is NO longer an orphan...GLORY!
     June 10th 8:00am~  We're called down for breakfast.  To a beautiful spread of Ethiopian food...We are greeted at the table by Paul and Patty, and also Jeff.  He is waiting for his wife to arrive.  I love how the Lord has connected our hearts and we felt life forever friends.  After we eat our driver shows up and we head over to the Foster Home~ OH MY GOODNESS!!!! THIS IS THE DAY...Just a dream all those months ago...I am now walking in it...It feels like the birth of my other children.  As we pull into the gated court yard, my heart is going to explode.  David has the video camera out and is already recording!  We stood in the court yard waiting for the nannies to get Sintayehu...It felt like several minutes before that door OPENED...There he is!!! Our son. Our beautiful boy! I can not take my eyes off of him! The nanny leans him towards me and I scoop him up..He is much smaller than photos portray.  Every feature is beautiful.  He has taken our breath away, and forever found a home in our hearts.  He is crying very hard with a parade of alligator tears.  The sound is beautiful and within minutes he has settled into my arms and is drinking warm milk from a  sippy.  It is in this moment I know we have bonded as mother and son.

~Happy Birthday~ A BIG 2

Happy Birthday to you~ Happy Birthday to you~ Happy Birthday Dear Sintayehu...Happy Birthday to you~ Today you are TWO!! We celebrate you Miles, Mountains and Oceans apart, but you are Very present in our hearts~ This day I thank our God for you.  Beautiful you~  Before we knew of  you HE formed you in your mothers womb, You were fearfully and wonderfully made, Gods works of You are Wonderful. Your frame wasn't hidden from Him  when HE made you in the secret place. He saw your unformed body, All of your days baby boy are ordained written in the Almighty's book before one of them came to be...I not only thank God for you, but for the mother who carried you, bore you and gave the ultimate sacrifice of surrendering you...Oh to know a love so selfless and so sacrificial...She imitated the very heart of God~ What beauty...I love you...We are having a party for you tonight as a family, celebrating you and knowing you will Never have another birthday without your family~Love, Mama 4-10-2013

To my baby boy~  Today marks 4 months to when we first caught glimpse of you...We have received 16 updates of your how you are doing, and we usually get two photos of you.  BOY you are one Hunky little dude.  Do you know each person I show a photo of you to, says something about your eyes?!  They describe you as smiley, eyes that are full of light, a tender spirit, etc...Your big brother says you look like you have a little swagger.  Every night we pray for you at the dinner table, and as we say our bedtime prayers...we pray for you day, knowing you are just waking up...I know one day you'll read these blogs and know how much you are loved and prayed for. It's amazing the LOVE that we feel for you when we have only seen photos of you.  That Love is a love that can only come from HIM.  I'm praying as we're waiting....that God is preparing your heart for us...Praying Gods perfect timing to engulf you in my arms, breathe your sweetness in, and some serious kisses in that sweet little neck of yours! Love, Mama

"Adoption and our care of the fatherless provide a visible demonstration of the gospel. Our adoption of children serves as a window into Christ's rescue of us. Adoption displays gospel-justice. Adoption displays the patient, persistent pursuit and sovereign choice of God for us. Adoption displays the heart of God for rescuing a people from every nation, tribe and tongue. Because of what God has done for us in Christ, adoption and orphan care are signs that God's kingdom and rule are present in our world and will one day come in all their fullness." Jason Kovacs

Part 2 To Prequel

OK...hope to finish this.  My house looks like a triage with 3 home sick today.  So where was I? Awe...Yes! Sunday evening November 25th my husband gets a text...AKA our answer to our prayers.  The answer that prevented the sliver to fester...The answer that told me, HE sees you, HE hears you...When she asked what we needed next in the process, we knew we needed to be completely honest with every detail since the 14th of accepting our referral.  Again my pride has a way of wanting to star on Broadway in this moment.  I actually tell my husband, "Oh just respond by telling her we just need a plane ticket, or to cover our stay over there, or our immunizations, or his visa,or better yet just to pray for us, OR, OR, OR? Be completely exposed in an honest response back to her text.  You see...her text was asking where we were at in the process...So David began to text her back our last few weeks that I previously posted.  Numbers and all.  Her RESPONSE back..."INTERESTING, my husband and I felt strongly last week that we were to give you and Ranell 7,000.00 for the next step." Do you remember where we were just 15 minutes before this text? I sit here barely able to read what I am typing as I am still moved with emotion of such a gift.  A gift that defends the Fatherless, a gift that brings a child closer to having a family, a gift that shines HIS glory, Reflects HIS Love, and Renews Hope...
      After David and I processed her text with praise, many tears, and much joy we knew that we would be able to wire the funds the next morning, Monday November 26th when it was due.  If you have a few more minutes I would love to share with you our time at the bank.  We believe this adoption is not only about this orphaned boy having a family, but to testify to the things of God.  To always reflect him in all the details.  So we head to the bank, and it's the same teller, you know the one with the magic wand?  She perks up when she sees us and asks if were doing the cash advance.  My husband says,"that wont be necessary, God heard our prayers!"  She tilts her head with intrigue.  He hands her the 7,000.00 dollar check and shares what had happened the night before.  She begins to cry, and then gets the other tellers and bank manager to come hear the story.  They have been invested in this adoption with every form we needed notarized.  They quickly get caught up on God's goodness by Davids loud proclaiming!  With no regard to the line that has formed behind us, Church was happening there in the ban!k My husband finishes by telling them that Gods love is for everyone not just for us,  not just for the orphan but for them as well.  He then was overcome by the gift that was given to us, and the weight that was removed that he had to excuse himself.  As I finished the transaction alone, I watched something beautiful going on in my husband who was trying to collect himself in the foyer, from the teller who cradled the gift like it was a newborn, and all those working and in line had just heard of Gods Faithfulness, and HIS Love. Which got me pondering on the most beautiful scriptures in the Bible.
      John 3:16 "For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life." There are two really big actions in the scripture.  Loved and Gave.  Words of movement....What a beautiful example of Loving so much that the end result is Giving...He Gave, He gave it all.

    

Prequel to OUR Referral

Prequel to Our Referral~ A few weeks before we laid eyes on our son, I had a dear friend come up to me and say she was praying for our family.  While she was praying she said she SAW him.  She continued to share about the light in his eyes.  She couldn't quite describe it. I told her, "Oh yeah Ethiopian children are known for light in their eyes.  Their eyes have been called reflectors of light." She looked at me in a way that I KNEW to hold on to every word she spoke. She then said,"No that's not what I mean." The best way she could describe to me is that she saw a light coming from his eye, it reminded her of a flashlight beaming out light from his eye.  Because I love this friend and trust God in her, I knew to tuck that Word in my heart. 
     So when we opened our "referral" November 14th and after we dried our eyes to read his medical report, we saw that he had a condition with his right eye.  On one report it was called corneal opacity. When we googled the condition it said it could lead to blindness. We knew because of WHAT my friend had seen about his eye that was our confirmation that he was ours. His "condition" didn't deter our hearts from loving him, from desiring to bring him into our family. The next day I looked at the medical report again, and on the bottom it said refer to an opthamoligist/surgeon.  So I found that report in our referral packet...The condition was actually something to do with his Iris and wouldn't affect vision at all. And when you look at his sweet right eye he is missing part of the color and in it's place is light. In one of the medical definitions it describes the condition as, A light shining thru. PRAISE! His Ethiopian name is Sinthayhu, Meaning...What my eyes have seen, and what I have been through.
     OK~ as if that Godly word wasn't enough...Are you ready??? You might want to pop some popcorn and sit in AWE of God's design in this adoption journey! The week before our referral I saw a post from our agency saying they had a healthy 1 yr old boy who needed a forever family.  In my spirit I KNEW he was ours!  I actually responded right away, with something like, Do you hear me screaming?" I couldn't believe it because we put in for a 1-5 yr old boy.  I had a quick thought of why is she trying to give our son away.  She, our Ethiopian coordinator responded so kindly back saying I thought of your family first but I knew you wouldn't be ready to send the referral money, because we had just raised the Dossier amount.  She was very accurate in her thinking.  In that moment I text alot of our friends to PRAY.  I said there would need to be a miracle so this boy wouldn't be referred out.  It wasn't like, Oh well if it's meant to be...NO! I knew that was our son!  We needed a miracle.  I even asked God to make him undesirable for that family...I know, awful. I'm only speaking raw truth from the very core of me.  This isn't written to please man.  I hope me being completely honest will only encourage those of you who are or will be in a similar situation...So the morning of our referral...Our coordinator calls and says,"How soon do you think you could get your referral money in? I told her I wasn't sure because we had just come up with the close to 7000.00 amount for our dossier.  However...I said I don't want to miss "our son"..In my head I'm thinking, we are SO doing a cash advance and were going to accept this referral.  I could have even vocalized this in the phone conversation...One thing I knew for sure is my amazing husband has said throughout this whole process is he didn't want to charge. We didn't envision our little boy wearing a t-shirt that said, "My parents went in forclosure for me" OR "My parents loved me so much, their bankrupted." My husbands decision to not charge was that he wanted God to get the glory, not Discover or American Express.  So knowing this I was afraid to ask my husband, but I knew our agency needed to know asap.  After hanging up the phone I went to prayer.  I remember being literally on my knees, with my face buried in the carpet...seeking God.  Only in this moment throughout this process I remember praying YOUR WILL GOD. FORGIVE ME IF I'M RUNNING AHEAD. IF HE ISN'T OUR SON, THEN PLEASE CLOSE THE DOOR..so when my husband came home for lunch I quickly caught him up to speed and told him the ONLY way we can accept this referral is to just do a cash advance and pay it off  later...PAUSE...to this miracle in the making.  The Ranell in her flesh...is saying right now, WHY are you sharing all the intimate details of something so personal...I'm sure everyone has 35,000 dollars in their savings to adopt...Hit backspace, and NO one will know...PLAY....I really want you to SEE HIS GLORY.  I wonder if this is how King David felt as he danced naked before the Lord.  So here it is....Okay so guess what my husband says to my 2 hour prayer request prior to him coming home for lunch? "Let's go for it!" I couldn't have been more elated with his response. 
     We knew the money would be due asap, usually within 48 hrs of acceptance, she said the following Monday on the 19th would be fine.  So that night we opened our referral and accepted...which you know if you read the prior..After we accept is when God gets even more fancy in HIS creation of this adoption journey.  We go  to our bank on the morning of the 19th to do the cash advance.  Mind you we have never done this before so we really thought we just go on in...We step up to the teller and let her know our wishes.  With her wand in hand she's going through everything and getting ready to wire, she grabs the card we are planning on using and informs us that this bank isn't set up to do American Express.  UGH....No wish granted...Her wand was only a pen, but she tells us the banks that use AE.  As we head back to our car I told David, you know this feels like a door shut.  Not shut to our son, but to doing a cash advance.  I continued to share with David that God wanted to honor his desire to not charge, and to get all the Glory!  As we part ways...my husband continues to hit up the banks that were set up for AE, he even calls American Express and they tell him they can put a direct advance into our checking, but that it takes two business days. This is all happening while I am out getting groceries in complete peace...THOSE of you who know us, KNOW it would be me knocking on every door to complete this transaction not the one who didn't want to"charge"..OK so now it's the 21st and were still trying to get the money...Your probably wondering where is American Express' magic carpet ride with the direct advance...Well in those few days, they changed policy and only offer a cash advance of 500.00 every seven days.  Door remains SHUT.  Instant heartburn sets in, I let our agency know this and her Milantic response was, "No worries tomorrow is Thanksgiving and I won't be in the office till Monday."  So were thinking PTL more time to figure this out..And there it is, a sliver of doubt..Not doubting our referral is our son, but will God provide? I hate confessing this...I KNOW God at His word, but there it was, a lack in my faith. Looking back I am so thankful the sliver didn't fester.
      It's now Sunday night, November 25th the eve before money is due, and my husband says to me, "I don't know how were going to be able to send the money, at this point we just don't have all of it. I'm not sure where it's going to come from." We had a stare that only we could read and understand, and in that moment we truly knew it could only be from God...That ONLY God would provide. After we prayed, we were resolved and at absolute peace. Praise God my mind was numb from the knowledge that if HE didn't provide by the next morning more than likely we wouldn't be moving forward with this child whom we have fallen madly in love with...This is that moment where you believe it for everyone else, because you've seen it happen for others. 15 minutes later my husband receives a message from a couple asking us what we needed next in the process of our adoption! Intermission~ To His Story..Possibly for the effect of suspense...but the reality is I have a little one home sick and need to hold the bucket under her dear face.